my brain says it's snowing.

I've found the temporary cure to Florida's perpetual summer: watching Christmas movies! Two hours of snowfall, white landscapes and thickly-wrapped scarves has transported me far from the land of palm trees.

How can people live without this? How can anyone stand to be where mittens are rendered useless? I can't imagine never breathing the bright air cold enough to condense your breath, to chill your skin but not quite your bones. Or walking in woods under bare trees, gray clouds, falling snow, with dead leaves underfoot and chimney smoke in the air. Even waiting on a crowded el platform after work in a blizzard of white has its own small magic when you look out the darkened train windows at snow piling on the stopped-up cars.

Here we are robbed of the excuse to cuddle up to someone for warmth. Tragic. :)

Which has led me to decide that I don't want to live without the beautiful cold. There's the real possibility of being permanently removed from places that snow (and all that comes with them), depending on my dedication to my career. Lately I've been in ongoing conversation about the life I envision after finishing here. There is a clear tradeoff in which you can work infinitely hard, give up nights, weekends, family, even choosing where you live, and be very successful. Conversely, the more you want out of your life, the more limitations on your career.

Don't get me wrong; I'd go bonkers if I wasn't being productive. But as I say often, I only get one life. I'm willing to sacrifice being where I want and have a limited personal life - for a few years, but not for my whole life. Because I don't get another one after this. Who would spend every minute of their one wild, precious life toiling after scientific knowledge? Well, someone would. But not me. I've got a few other things I want to do.


(I know it's been all introspective blogs lately and no random rants or cute pictures. Sorry. I thought at first I was getting too serious but let's be honest, this is a super-formative point of life. Probably the most ever. So I'm going with it and jabbering away as I see fit. I won't always be this trepidaciously obsessed with my current and future situations... or at least, I'm really hoping it's a phase-specific thing. Whoever you readers are, you seem to be showing up anyway - I saw today there's been almost 1000 reads! Who's reading this stuff? I don't have that many friends.)